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My GG Fic
As promised, my GG fic is behind the cut. Please read! And leave feedback. I'm a feedback whore.
Disclaimer: Don’t sue, please. I don’t own the character of Lorelai Gilmore. Amy Sherman-Palladino and Dorothy Parker Drank Here Productions do. However, I do love her. And if I’m being completely honest, I almost wish I was her.
A/N: It happens every so often that I have a strong desire to write something. Except, I don’t consider myself a writer at all. But the past few weeks, the desire to write a Gilmore Girls fic of some kind – to give back in a tiny way to the fandom that has given so much to me – has been very strong. Problem was, I didn’t have a clue what to write. Then,![[profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
ciachick711 posted a request on her LJ for help with fanfic100 ideas. I looked at the prompts to see if anything would come to mind to help her, and I noticed that several of the prompts were colors. And the inspiration for my own little vignette hit. So, thanks to ciachick711 for inspiring this piece in a round-about way. Also, a huge thanks to my betas, enigmaticblues and shannigansx! They not only helped me find the typos, but even provided me with an idea or two, which I included in the piece. So, enough from me. On with the story…
*****
Her life is full of color. Or so she has always believed. After all, the ‘Lorelai Look’ that she works so hard to maintain on a daily basis consists of a wide array of bright colors. The Dragonfly Inn is one big experiment in color. Her house – when not completely bare in preparation for the painters – is crammed full of objects spanning every color of the rainbow. Stars Hollow itself is full of colorful sights and sounds, as well as some rather colorful individuals. She even likes to think that she is one of the most colorful among them.
But it’s more than that. For Lorelai, color holds meaning. In her mind, she sees color as marking significant time periods or events in her life. As such, for her, color brings with it a wide range of emotions.
When she thinks of her childhood, she sees dark colors, dull colors, the color of heavy wood. To Lorelai, these colors signify confinement. She sees the white of her coming-out dress. The color that was to signify to the world – or at least the world of Hartford, Connecticut – her virginity so that some man could eventually come and claim it. Except that it had already been claimed by a 16-year-old boy, the fact that the dress did not fit around her middle when it was time to wear it to the ball a testament to this.
Then there was pink. The day the strip turned pink, Lorelai’s life had forever changed. At 16, she left her childhood behind. She left those dark, dull, confining colors for what would turn out to be much better, brighter ones. Pink was also the color of Rory as a baby. It was the smell of her too, if smell could have a color. It was also the color of the curtains Lorelai had made to hang at the windows of her and Rory’s first home away from the elder Gilmores, the shed at the Inn. From the day of her daughter’s birth, Lorelai’s life had been consumed by pink.
There were other colors too, less significant but still important. The yellow of her Jeep, the first purchase she’d made upon becoming a salaried employee at the Independence Inn. The grey of her house. The “crap shack,” as she and Rory had planned to call it. She would always remember the pride she felt at being able to buy that house. After years of hard work, she had finally been able to provide a real home for Rory. And she had been able to do it all on her own, with no help from anyone.
Lately, there had been a lot of blue. It wasn’t so much a new color in Lorelai’s life, as it was an old color that had become more prominent of late. It was the color of Luke’s baseball cap – the one he’d worn since the day Lorelai had given it to him almost five years earlier. Blue is also the color of Luke’s eyes. Those eyes hold so many things she’d never let herself notice before. They hold adoration for her, and love. So much love for her and for Rory. And for the first time upon seeing such strong feelings in a man’s eyes, Lorelai doesn’t want to run away. Instead, she wants to spend the rest of her life staring into those eyes.
As a result, blue is to be the new exterior color of her house that was once grey. And she sits staring at hundreds of paint samples, unable to pick one, or two, or even ten colors to grace the inside walls of her home.
She has no problem picking colors for everywhere else in Stars Hollow. A light, slightly washed-out green for Luke’s apartment, with dulled aquamarine blue baseboards and off-white ceilings. Blanched almond for Sookie’s house. Light salmon for Stars Hollow Middle School. Sea green with burnt sienna trim for Al’s Pancake World.
But for her own house, the place where it should be easiest for Lorelai to pick colors, she is at a complete loss. She blames a lack of focus. She blames time spent worrying over a sick Paul Anka. She blames everything but the real reason she is unable to choose. The person she most wants to help her choose the colors for their house isn’t speaking to her. And Lorelai’s so afraid of making the wrong decision.
She keeps replaying her conversation with Rory at her 21st birthday party over and over in her head. Rory’s words to her: “A lot has changed.” And her response: “A lot, and then not so much, also.”
The truth is, a lot has changed since Rory left home. Not only with Paul Anka and with Luke, but also with Lorelai herself. These past few months of not talking to Rory have been harder on Lorelai than all of her 17 years under Richard and Emily Gilmore’s thumbs combined. And knowing that these were the very people Rory had run to for help, it had really messed with her own self-confidence.
Lorelai had been convinced that after a month of living with her grandparents, Rory would have realized just how good she had it with Lorelai and been back at home in Stars Hollow. She was sure that Rory would start her junior year at Yale in the fall. And yet, here they were five months later, and Rory was still living in Hartford. Not attending Yale, but rather helping her grandmother with all things DAR. It almost seemed as if Rory truly did love the life from which Lorelai had been dying to escape since practically the day she could walk.
Lorelai had always known she was good at being a mother. It was the one thing in her life at which she felt she had truly succeeded. Except now, when she can’t seem to fix things with Rory even after months of trying - when she didn’t even see things going wrong in the first place in order to stop them - she feels like a failure. Like she is not a good mother at all.
She’s been making all sorts of decisions without Rory these past five months in an attempt to go on with her life. In an attempt to remain quiet, to let Rory figure it out on her own. Because all of Lorelai’s talking is what seems to have driven Rory away in the first place. So she had decided to remain silent, so that Rory wouldn’t resent Lorelai and would eventually want to come home. But none of these decisions have actually brought Rory home. And now after hearing Rory express concern over how much has changed, Lorelai is terrified to make even one more decision without her for fear of pushing Rory away forever.
Especially when this decision involves the house where Rory grew up. The house that has been a sanctuary for just Lorelai and Rory all these years. All decisions affecting this house prior to the last five months were made by only the two of them. But ever since Rory left, several major look-altering decisions have been made about this house by Lorelai and Luke, with no input from Rory.
Lorelai knows this is only fair, since Rory willfully removed herself from the house. And Lorelai does want Luke to be a part of the decision-making process surrounding her house. For all intents and purposes, it is his house now as well. But she doesn’t want the crap shack to be just her and Luke’s house now. She wants it to be her, Rory and Luke’s house. She wants them to be a family, all three of them.
After talking with Rory at the party, Lorelai – for the first time in a long time – has hope that maybe, just maybe, Rory is starting to miss her. That maybe, just maybe, she’s starting to think about coming home. But what if Rory does come home and sees all the changes? The three windows of Luke and Lorelai’s new bedroom where there used to just be Lorelai’s one. Or the blue exterior that used to be grey. What if she sees them, decides that too much has changed, that she no longer belongs here, and runs away? Or worse yet, what if she decides to overcome her fear of these changes, makes it to the front door, sees a whole new color on the walls inside, and gets really scared? What if she turns around, leaves and never comes back?
Lorelai can’t bear the thought of that. She would rather sit here with these primed white walls, no furniture and everything covered in plastic for the rest of her life, if it meant that Rory would eventually come home. Then, they could decide what color to paint the walls together. Then, Lorelai might feel confident to make a decision again. Maybe then. But certainly not now.
Still, she knows that she has to make a decision now. Luke has given her a deadline. If the painters are ready to paint, and she hasn’t picked out a color for them to paint with, why they’ll move onto another job. So she does choose two colors. Colors that require little decision. Colors that cause little fear in the picking of them.
She picks two yellows, one slightly darker than the other. The lighter one to cover the top half of the walls, and the darker to cover the lower half. There is safety in these colors, as these are the same colors that have graced the walls of this house for as long as she and Rory have lived there. And there is hope in these colors. Hope that no matter how much things seem to change, some things will always stay the same. Like the love of a mother and a daughter. In these colors, there is hope that Rory will someday soon come home. And that Lorelai, Rory and Luke can finally be a family.
For Lorelai, there is great significance in color.
Now I'm off to watch Gilmore Girls. YAY!
Disclaimer: Don’t sue, please. I don’t own the character of Lorelai Gilmore. Amy Sherman-Palladino and Dorothy Parker Drank Here Productions do. However, I do love her. And if I’m being completely honest, I almost wish I was her.
A/N: It happens every so often that I have a strong desire to write something. Except, I don’t consider myself a writer at all. But the past few weeks, the desire to write a Gilmore Girls fic of some kind – to give back in a tiny way to the fandom that has given so much to me – has been very strong. Problem was, I didn’t have a clue what to write. Then,
ciachick711 posted a request on her LJ for help with fanfic100 ideas. I looked at the prompts to see if anything would come to mind to help her, and I noticed that several of the prompts were colors. And the inspiration for my own little vignette hit. So, thanks to ciachick711 for inspiring this piece in a round-about way. Also, a huge thanks to my betas, enigmaticblues and shannigansx! They not only helped me find the typos, but even provided me with an idea or two, which I included in the piece. So, enough from me. On with the story…*****
Her life is full of color. Or so she has always believed. After all, the ‘Lorelai Look’ that she works so hard to maintain on a daily basis consists of a wide array of bright colors. The Dragonfly Inn is one big experiment in color. Her house – when not completely bare in preparation for the painters – is crammed full of objects spanning every color of the rainbow. Stars Hollow itself is full of colorful sights and sounds, as well as some rather colorful individuals. She even likes to think that she is one of the most colorful among them.
But it’s more than that. For Lorelai, color holds meaning. In her mind, she sees color as marking significant time periods or events in her life. As such, for her, color brings with it a wide range of emotions.
When she thinks of her childhood, she sees dark colors, dull colors, the color of heavy wood. To Lorelai, these colors signify confinement. She sees the white of her coming-out dress. The color that was to signify to the world – or at least the world of Hartford, Connecticut – her virginity so that some man could eventually come and claim it. Except that it had already been claimed by a 16-year-old boy, the fact that the dress did not fit around her middle when it was time to wear it to the ball a testament to this.
Then there was pink. The day the strip turned pink, Lorelai’s life had forever changed. At 16, she left her childhood behind. She left those dark, dull, confining colors for what would turn out to be much better, brighter ones. Pink was also the color of Rory as a baby. It was the smell of her too, if smell could have a color. It was also the color of the curtains Lorelai had made to hang at the windows of her and Rory’s first home away from the elder Gilmores, the shed at the Inn. From the day of her daughter’s birth, Lorelai’s life had been consumed by pink.
There were other colors too, less significant but still important. The yellow of her Jeep, the first purchase she’d made upon becoming a salaried employee at the Independence Inn. The grey of her house. The “crap shack,” as she and Rory had planned to call it. She would always remember the pride she felt at being able to buy that house. After years of hard work, she had finally been able to provide a real home for Rory. And she had been able to do it all on her own, with no help from anyone.
Lately, there had been a lot of blue. It wasn’t so much a new color in Lorelai’s life, as it was an old color that had become more prominent of late. It was the color of Luke’s baseball cap – the one he’d worn since the day Lorelai had given it to him almost five years earlier. Blue is also the color of Luke’s eyes. Those eyes hold so many things she’d never let herself notice before. They hold adoration for her, and love. So much love for her and for Rory. And for the first time upon seeing such strong feelings in a man’s eyes, Lorelai doesn’t want to run away. Instead, she wants to spend the rest of her life staring into those eyes.
As a result, blue is to be the new exterior color of her house that was once grey. And she sits staring at hundreds of paint samples, unable to pick one, or two, or even ten colors to grace the inside walls of her home.
She has no problem picking colors for everywhere else in Stars Hollow. A light, slightly washed-out green for Luke’s apartment, with dulled aquamarine blue baseboards and off-white ceilings. Blanched almond for Sookie’s house. Light salmon for Stars Hollow Middle School. Sea green with burnt sienna trim for Al’s Pancake World.
But for her own house, the place where it should be easiest for Lorelai to pick colors, she is at a complete loss. She blames a lack of focus. She blames time spent worrying over a sick Paul Anka. She blames everything but the real reason she is unable to choose. The person she most wants to help her choose the colors for their house isn’t speaking to her. And Lorelai’s so afraid of making the wrong decision.
She keeps replaying her conversation with Rory at her 21st birthday party over and over in her head. Rory’s words to her: “A lot has changed.” And her response: “A lot, and then not so much, also.”
The truth is, a lot has changed since Rory left home. Not only with Paul Anka and with Luke, but also with Lorelai herself. These past few months of not talking to Rory have been harder on Lorelai than all of her 17 years under Richard and Emily Gilmore’s thumbs combined. And knowing that these were the very people Rory had run to for help, it had really messed with her own self-confidence.
Lorelai had been convinced that after a month of living with her grandparents, Rory would have realized just how good she had it with Lorelai and been back at home in Stars Hollow. She was sure that Rory would start her junior year at Yale in the fall. And yet, here they were five months later, and Rory was still living in Hartford. Not attending Yale, but rather helping her grandmother with all things DAR. It almost seemed as if Rory truly did love the life from which Lorelai had been dying to escape since practically the day she could walk.
Lorelai had always known she was good at being a mother. It was the one thing in her life at which she felt she had truly succeeded. Except now, when she can’t seem to fix things with Rory even after months of trying - when she didn’t even see things going wrong in the first place in order to stop them - she feels like a failure. Like she is not a good mother at all.
She’s been making all sorts of decisions without Rory these past five months in an attempt to go on with her life. In an attempt to remain quiet, to let Rory figure it out on her own. Because all of Lorelai’s talking is what seems to have driven Rory away in the first place. So she had decided to remain silent, so that Rory wouldn’t resent Lorelai and would eventually want to come home. But none of these decisions have actually brought Rory home. And now after hearing Rory express concern over how much has changed, Lorelai is terrified to make even one more decision without her for fear of pushing Rory away forever.
Especially when this decision involves the house where Rory grew up. The house that has been a sanctuary for just Lorelai and Rory all these years. All decisions affecting this house prior to the last five months were made by only the two of them. But ever since Rory left, several major look-altering decisions have been made about this house by Lorelai and Luke, with no input from Rory.
Lorelai knows this is only fair, since Rory willfully removed herself from the house. And Lorelai does want Luke to be a part of the decision-making process surrounding her house. For all intents and purposes, it is his house now as well. But she doesn’t want the crap shack to be just her and Luke’s house now. She wants it to be her, Rory and Luke’s house. She wants them to be a family, all three of them.
After talking with Rory at the party, Lorelai – for the first time in a long time – has hope that maybe, just maybe, Rory is starting to miss her. That maybe, just maybe, she’s starting to think about coming home. But what if Rory does come home and sees all the changes? The three windows of Luke and Lorelai’s new bedroom where there used to just be Lorelai’s one. Or the blue exterior that used to be grey. What if she sees them, decides that too much has changed, that she no longer belongs here, and runs away? Or worse yet, what if she decides to overcome her fear of these changes, makes it to the front door, sees a whole new color on the walls inside, and gets really scared? What if she turns around, leaves and never comes back?
Lorelai can’t bear the thought of that. She would rather sit here with these primed white walls, no furniture and everything covered in plastic for the rest of her life, if it meant that Rory would eventually come home. Then, they could decide what color to paint the walls together. Then, Lorelai might feel confident to make a decision again. Maybe then. But certainly not now.
Still, she knows that she has to make a decision now. Luke has given her a deadline. If the painters are ready to paint, and she hasn’t picked out a color for them to paint with, why they’ll move onto another job. So she does choose two colors. Colors that require little decision. Colors that cause little fear in the picking of them.
She picks two yellows, one slightly darker than the other. The lighter one to cover the top half of the walls, and the darker to cover the lower half. There is safety in these colors, as these are the same colors that have graced the walls of this house for as long as she and Rory have lived there. And there is hope in these colors. Hope that no matter how much things seem to change, some things will always stay the same. Like the love of a mother and a daughter. In these colors, there is hope that Rory will someday soon come home. And that Lorelai, Rory and Luke can finally be a family.
For Lorelai, there is great significance in color.
Now I'm off to watch Gilmore Girls. YAY!
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As for picking the yellow walls, well I'm sure you know I'm spoiled. I saw a picture from tonight's episode and saw that the walls were still relatively yellow. So I figured I could get away with it in this story.
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And thanks so much for the pimping! And for the zen icon. I am loving this zen icon today.
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I'm probably not going to make a post until tomorrow, but when I do... lots and lots of pimping!!! Thanks! The icon is really coming in handy today, isn't it?
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Speaking of positive feedback, I need to go read the latest chapter of Avocation. *runs off to read*
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